So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
