So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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