nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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