I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
