nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think your dad took our porno
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
