So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
