Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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