You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
