Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
