I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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