all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm getting married
To pizza
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
