Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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