Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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