I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
