Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
