I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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