last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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