So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
