I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
