Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
