Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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