Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
