He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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