STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
