So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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