were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What drink are we having for lunch?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
