I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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