ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
