Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
