I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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