U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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