WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
