I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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