Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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