I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
