that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
