fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
