You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
