biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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