Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
