so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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