how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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