He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
