I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Randomize
