C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
