If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
do herpes really smell.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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