I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
