I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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