i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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