Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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